The Real Daywalkers
by Shadowgate
Summary: South Park faces the horror of zombies who can only chant one word.
1. Chapter 1

The Real Daywalkers

By Shadowagate

…...

Stan Marsh woke up and showered. After he had breakfast he looked over his IPOD and saw numerous songs by Metallica and Megadeth. He hated the tween wave crap that swept through South Park. He then laughed and lifted his bed. He pulled up a CD that was a second hand copy of a Cannibal Corpse album he got from Kenny's brother Kevin. He knew if his mom found out he had it she'd hit the motherfucking ceiling in a raging fit.

He then laughed and said to himself "oh mom you hate tween wave well that's okay I'll listen to Cannibal Corpse."

Before he could put the CD into his computer his cell phone rang. It was Kyle.

"Hey Kyle what's going on?"

Kyle said "Stan just stay in your house because we're going to be under martial law very soon."

Stan asked "what the fuck do you mean we'll be under martial law soon? Is it because of what happened in Boston?"

Kyle answered "we have real life daywalkers. They're fucking zombies it's like that song by Six Feet Under called "The Day the Dead Walked" and they killed three people outside Wal-Mart."

Stan remarked "you must be fucking kidding."

Kyle shot back "this is South Park where all the worst things that can happen will happen."

Suddenly Stan Marsh heard pounding on his door.

Stan yelled "HOLD ON DAD" and then he got back on his cell phone and said to Kyle "I have to go my dad is pounding on my door."

Stan opened his door and Randy said "pull up your internet you can get a live report about our situation. We are in trouble because at 5 AM real life daywalkers were in the Wal-Mart parking lot."

Randy pulls up a news link on Stan's computer.

The news reporter says "we go now live to South Park outside a Wal-Mart where three people were slaughtered by what are said to be real life zombies. Filling us in on details from a helicopter is a man with a pirate patch over his eye who fantasizes of being spanked by Barney the Purple Dinosaur."

The camera zooms in on the inside of a helicopter. The reporters said immediately "I do not have fantasies of being spanked by Barney the Purple Dinosaur. Now getting on to the news at hand I'm flying over the Wal-Mart where witnesses saw three large male figures chanting "daywalkers" over and over again. Then they devoured three Wal-Mart customers to nothing but bones and blood. It happened at 5AM. A local law enforcement officer by the name of Officer Barbrady was on the scene. He got on top of the roof of the Wal-Mart and everyone else got inside the Wal-Mart where they locked the doors. These daywalkers did not try to break through the doors of Wal-Mart. Officer Barbrady pulled his gun and he was going to shoot them however he realized this morning he forgot to load his gun before going on patrol today."

The reporter in the studio laughed and said "what a stupid hick town the police officer is so dumb he forgot to load his gun. Anyhow it's true that this town is under attack and it's also true that you sir love to dream of being spanked by Barney the Purple Dinosaur."

The reporter in the helicopter replied back "fuck you."

After that Stan's dad cut out of the news website and said "if we keep our doors shut we'll be okay."

Stan asked "what are these creatures? Wouldn't they bust through doors if they can eat people?"

Randy answered "we don't know but our neighbors got cell phone calls and then they called other neighbors and it's good we know about this danger. Let's just stay inside."

Stan asked "where's Uncle Jimbo he's got guns."

Randy answered "your Uncle Jimbo and Ned are out of town right now."

Stan's cell phone rang. It was Cartman.

"Cartman"

Cartman asked "hey Stan do you think Kyle will turn into a zombie and eat my balls?"

Stan answered "this is serious you fat fuck."

Cartman said "I am being serious will Kyle suck my fucking balls?"

Stan yelled "PEOPLE ARE DYING YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!"

Stan and Randy went down stairs and looked out their window.

Stan said "there are ten of them out there."

Shelly came into the living room and said "well at least they don't come through doors and windows. They just walk through the streets."

Sharon yelled "WELL THAT'S FUCKING GREAT! I MEAN THEY ONLY FUCKING EAT PEOPLE AND WHO KNOWS IF THEY JUST MIGHT COME THROUGH THE FUCKING DOOR?"

Randy said "well maybe these zombies are brain dead."

Sharon commented "just like you."

Shelly and Stan laughed.

Stan's cell phone rang and it was Kyle. Kyle complained that Cartman called him up and talked about him turning into a zombie and sucking his balls. Soon police cars came roaring through and police yelled through their bullhorns "STAY INSIDE YOU ARE ALL UNDER MARTIAL LAW!"

Stan said "shit well I guess I'll go up to my room."

Shelly said "don't plan on listening to that copy of the Cannibal Corpse CD because I went into your room right after you and dad went down stairs and grabbed it. Mom has it now."

Sharon said "Stanley Marsh what on earth makes you think you can just listen to groups like this I'm your mother and I say no."

Stan turns to Shelly and says "thanks a lot you bitch!"

Shelly grabs a chair and throws it at Stan but Stan ducks and the chair goes through a window.

Randy says "Shelly you've done it now you've exposed us to the daywalking zombies."

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

The Real Daywalkers

Chapter 2

By Shadowgate

…

Not long after Shelly broke the window the Marsh Family saw the zombies coming toward their house. They chanted "daywalkers" and soon the whole Marsh Family headed out the back door. They cut through their backyard and out the backyard gate.

Stan suggested they make their way to Kyle's house. Stan pulled out his cell phone and called Kyle. Kyle was shocked about what happened and even suggested it would have been safer had Stan let the chair hit him.

Stan was not amused.

As they ran toward Kyle's house a police van pulled up.

The officer said through a bullhorn "Park County Police! The town of South Park is under martial law."

Randy replied that a window in their house got broken and zombies got inside their house. The police told them to get in their van.

The whole Marsh Family piled into the police van and they told the police of their neighbors the Broflavskis whom they were invited to stay with.

Stan also said that he wanted to stop at Kenny's house because he was concerned about Kenny's safety.

Randy said "Stan, uh okay" and Stan said "dad he's my friend and you're friends with his dad."

The police drove around the block and then stopped at Kyle's house.

Stan called Kyle again and said they were at the door. Kyle quickly let him and the rest of his family in.

Kyle then screamed at Shelly "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO THROW A CHAIR AT STAN?"

Shelly got angry and replied back "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING TURD!"

Sharon told Shelly to get her behavior under control. Right after that Stan told Kyle about his mom taking away that second hand copy of the Cannibal Corpse CD that he got from Kenny's older brother Kevin.

Kyle said "well you said you were going to hide it I guess she knows where you hide stuff."

Stan replied "well Shelly found it and turned it over to my mom."

Kyle said "well I sure don't envy you, I'm glad I'm the older of two kids in my family."

Stan said "hell yeah I wish I could kick my sister the way you kick Ike."

Shelia turned around and said "what, what, what?"

Kyle said "SHH" to Stan.

Sharon asked Stan why Kenny's older brother copied that CD for him? Stan explained that he wanted to hear the band Cannibal Corpse.

Randy laughed and said "it sure seems to be in poor taste at this moment."

Everybody but Shelia and Sharon laughed at Randy's comment.

Shelia commented "maybe I should look at your IPOD Kyle because if Stan can get that kind of music from Kenny's older brother then you surely can to."

Stan pointed out "hey speaking of Kenny and his family how do we know they're safe?"

Kyle responded that Kenny did not have a cell phone or a phone of any kind.

Kyle's cell phone rang and it was Cartman.

"Hey Kyle guess what! Kenny and his dad both have M-16's and Kenny was able to shoot down three daywalkers and make it over to my house."

Kyle was shocked "you're kidding."

Cartman said "no and my mom is going to try to drive us both over to your house. Kenny has a machine gun and he can keep us safe. I saw two of the fucking zombies eat someone outside my window just 10 minutes ago. We're coming over to your house."

Kyle hung up his cell phone and said "mom Cartman and his mom and Kenny are coming over here. Kenny has a machine gun so he can protect us from the daywalkers."

Shelia yells "WHAT, WHAT, WHAT KENNY HAS A MACHINE GUN?"

Stan commented "well that's a good thing because he can protect us from these zombies who call themselves the daywalkers."

Sharon asked "how did Kenny get access to a machine gun?"

Kyle answered "his dad has two of them."

Sharon said "oh and that stupid drunk gave his son a machine gun. Oh and his other son Kevin recorded a Cannibal Corpse CD just for you. Oh what a great family they are!"

Stan immediately shot back "oh but never mind these daytime zombies who are killing people we just want to get rid of rock music and the right to bear arms for protection is that it mom?"

Sharon started screaming at Stan and for five minutes it went on.

Then they heard a car outside honking and Kyle's cell phone rang again.

Kyle answered "okay Cartman we're coming to let you in."

Gerald let Cartman in along with his mother and everyone was surprised to see Kenny with a machine gun. Stan said "our parents won't admit it Kenny but they're glad you have that machine gun."

Kenny said "oh I got two extra clips full of ammo as well. I will protect you all."

Kyle replied "well I'm glad you have that machine gun to protect us but still your dad owning weapons like that while having a heavy drinking problem is a concern."

Cartman jumped in and said "Kyle you're an anti-second amendment communist Jew."

Kyle shot back "you're a fat fucking asshole Cartman."

Stan said "enough you guys this isn't helping. Let's just hang out and wait until we hear news that the zombies are under control. The police have us under martial law for now."

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3

The Real Daywalkers

Chapter 3

By Shadowgate

…...

Soon they heard the police yell through a bullhorn "WE ARE LIFTING MARTIAL LAW AND IF ANY OF YOU RESIDENTS OF SOUTH PARK HAVE GUNS NOW IS THE TIME TO USE THEM. WE ARE GOING IN FOR THE KILL."

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman charged out of Kyle's house. Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were given automatic weapons by the Park County Police Department.

Stan grabbed a pair of handcuffs and a key to go with them. Kyle asked why he got a pair of handcuffs since they'd be taking no prisoners whatsoever and Stan said he had a feeling he'd need them.

Stan took the lead and said "let's move around the corner."

They moved around the corner and fired upon five zombies destroying them all.

Stan pointed out that the police had already surrounded the Wal-Mart area and killed seven zombies.

Cartman suggested they move in on the school.

Stan told him "Cartman for once in your life you've made an intelligent suggestion."

Kyle said "okay but no matter what if we see Mister Garrison we are not to shoot him no matter how mad he's made us in the past."

The boys all take time to laugh and then they run as fast as they can to South Park Elementary School.

Once they arrive they see the doors were opened wide so they move in.

Kyle said "secure the hallway."

Stan said "we need to search all the classrooms."

They hit the Kindergarten classroom and then first, then second.

Cartman said "hey if we see Butters hiding out in the school can we shoot him?"

Stan and Kyle point their guns at Cartman and say "if you kill Butters you'll pay with your own life."

After searching third grade classrooms they move in on their own classroom. They find Butters hiding behind the teacher's desk.

Stan asked "Butters what are you doing?"

Butters answered "I'm hiding from the zombies."

Cartman told Butters he was safe now.

They moved into the music room and found nothing.

When they moved into the art classroom they found Mrs. Dreibel dead along with three zombies chanting "daywalkers" and they all fired upon the zombies.

They moved in on the library where they found five more zombies and they mowed them down with machine gun fire.

It wasn't long before they secured the entire Elementary School and declared it safe/zombie free.

When they moved out of the school they ran through the streets of South Park. When they passed Kyle's house Shelly caught up with them.

Shelly said "you guys there are reports coming in that the zombies are coming from Doctor Mephesto's Lab."

Shelly ran along side the boys as they headed toward the lab.

They moved through the gate and pounded on the door.

Stan said "open this fucking door."

Kyle said "we're zombie killers so is anybody in there?"

Kenny said "blast the door."

Kyle said "stand back" and he fired one shot through the door.

When they got through they saw Terrance Mephesto.

Stan said "FREEZE ASSHOLE" and Terrance put his hands up.

Kyle said "well Terrance you made zombies and it looks like your father is drugged."

Terrance said "yeah I wanted to have some fun."

Stan said "guys hold him at gun point and I'll put the handcuffs on him."

Kyle said "wait we shouldn't take him alive. We know he's guilty and he's diabolically smart. He's too dangerous."

Kenny asked "should he not stand trial?"

Stan answered "Kyle this guy isn't a zombie."

Terrance said "if you guys are going to execute me then just do it."

Cartman said "I'll blow his head off and I'll go to juvenile hall for it."

Kyle commented "I'll do it."

Kyle fired one shot through Terrance's heart and then Stan shot him once in the head.

Stan said "the head shot is a formality."

Cartman said "okay if the police ask I'll take credit for killing the zombie maker."

Kyle said "you fat fuck!"

Stan said "let Cartman take the credit for it so we don't get locked up. We shot an unarmed prisoner dude."

Soon the police surrounded Doctor Mephesto's lab. It was obvious what had happened.

Terrance Mephesto used his dad's lab to create "daywalker" zombies.

When Stan caught up with Shelly he asked "how did you know Terrance was behind all this?"

Shelly explained last week she ran into him at a Valero Corner Store and she said "oh you're that turd who fights with my brother's friend Kyle."

Shelly then went on to say that he replied "bitch you'll regret the day you ever spoke to me when my zombies take over South Park."

Shelly said she thought he was bullshitting around. Stan said "I should put these handcuffs on you Shelly."

Shelly said "Stan come on now remember we're family and if I knew he was serious I would have said something. He sounded like a total retard when he said it."

Stan then commented that he'd love to blow Shelly's head off for all the bullying and the loss of his Cannibal Corpse CD but then said he wouldn't.

Once again South Park was saved from zombies.

THE END


End file.
